A Camera Click and Dash for Cover

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There’s nothing like a photo to shock you into a calorie deprived stoicism that rivals even the most dedicated organic-eating-water-drinking-carbophobic-skinny-minny.

Thanks to Facebook, even the most discerning Fatty cannot immunise themselves against the flagrant attack their friends seem hell-bent on launching, without diversion, straight into fatty’s heart. Over the top you say? Absolutely! But can I venture to stay…

BLOODY WELL STOP IT!

Yes, I am fully aware that I am overweight. I do not however want this reflected in digital form for all to see. It not only gives fatties everywhere the opportunity to zoom in and pan across images of themselves they despise; it gives others the opportunity to gaze at wobbly bits without the distraction of our over-engaging-over-compensating-very-funny-story!

Add another important variable into this state of affairs. When I look in the mirror, fully dressed, ready to go out, I think I look at least passable. That at minimum, people won’t notice me and at best I don’t offend. In truth, sometimes I think I look quite nice, all things considered. This thinking, my friends, is for my very survival.

After going through the rigmarole of viewing oneself from all angles (side with stomach sucked in, stomach out, from front on with shoulders straight, front on shoulders slumped, belly out, belly in…you get the drift), one must pull themselves up straight, think positively and grab their keys. For if I looked at the situation through clear eyes, I wouldn’t go anywhere at all.

And then, unsuspectingly, you log onto Facebook and someone has snapped you without you knowing (which means belly out) and BANG…your heart sinks as you realise the situation is much worse than you realised.

But I’ve lost 14 kilos! But I’m lighter now! I even sprayed myself  last week with fake tan! How can I look like this? And then, you finally drag your gaze away from fleshy thighs and look upwards towards your eyes and it’s even worse.

Sad eyes are hard to cover up. Anatomically, my eyes are the same as those of my former, slimmer self. Inside, I am the same person, with the same gregarious attitude to life but I am covered with all this extra…stuff…that weighs me down.

And whilst I understand that those who “tag” others in photos on Facebook are probably well meaning and more concerned with how they look in the photo than their loved ones, I beg of you: Look at the whole picture, imagine you are each person in the photo and ask yourself whether you would like to be put out there on Stalk-book…I mean Facebook.

I have a dear friend who would innocently ask of me, “What? You look good!” She has said this about me for as long as I have known her and for most of my life I believed her. It’s a lovely sentiment but even she now half yells frantically…”I won’t take one of you!” as she pulls a camera from her bag. My cousin now hands me her camera to delete any I don’t like before she even has a chance to look at them. Bless!

But sadly, for someone who used to slap on a cheesy grin at the hint of a “click” or unrelated “flash”, this is just the way I like it.

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6 responses »

  1. I never tag anyone! But my sons tell me if you “untag” yourself you cannot be “retagged.” Sounds like a new version of the childhood game.

    I control all the pictures in our family albums but can’t control what others take. Darn.

    • It’s annoying isn’t it? I think that things have got a little crazy though- part of the tech age I suspect.

      I sound like a grumpy old woman but it seems that these days you are snapped one hour and the next you are on the internet. And whilst you can untag yourself from your page, the photos remain on theirs.

      Ah well….glad to hear you have the photo control in your house!

    • Hey You!

      Thank you so much for such a lovely award! I get a real kick out of thinking that you like my blog and I do really appreciated your supportive feedback.

      I can count on you to always leave a word at the end of my blogs- thank you!

  2. I know what you mean… In my “who I want to be” page, I say I don’t want to have to untag myself from pictures anymore. We need to believe in ourselves to do this. You can get past this, move on and don’t beat yourself up about pictures. Soon those pictures will be showing a slimmer, happier you! No untagging soon! Stay positive 🙂

    • I know exactly what you mean! It would be great to see a photo and think, oh well, it’s not too bad…

      And thanks for the support, I am on the way. It’s such a strange thing because it’s an absolute head block most of the time for me. I know what I should be doing, but have real trouble finding a balance.

      It’ll be the eternal struggle no doubt!

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