Tag Archives: heat

Short but Sour…an hour in the life of a hot fatty


The path towards losing weight is not always funny; it can be painful and treacherous. But don’t worry, I’ll keep this short and sour.

 After a short but meaningful conversation with the toolman, we decided to return to the beach where family and friends are residing for the month of January. I had heavy reservations about enduring a heat wave beachside, even if logically, it is the best place to be. For me, it would involve bearing all my wobbly bits for the world to see, excessive sweating and severe self-consciousness. Thoughts (my own and I tentatively argue are those of most overweight people in summer) are constantly about covering up this bit or that whilst the deep, deep sadness regarding my heavy condition leaches its way into my bones. This sentiment is most commonly known to travel toll-free from those bones to mouth,

“Fine, go you bully! I don’t care, have fun at the beach without me!” – (Bone to mouth translation) – “Please see how unhappy I am and take me quick-smart to a cool cinema where I am both comfortable not easily seen!” Know this my friends; overweight people are overweight by their own hand. This we know. But they experience events/temperature/proposed dreaded walks/and (*communal shudder*) stairs, in ways that slim people do not.

I am overwhelmed by a sense that it is time for me. My time to have fun. Not yours. Mine. No illness, no issues, just independence and youth. A sense that I want to give one to the world- (which almost ended up in a shaved head the other day; a good indication of my mental instability).  

 I am over it. Are you over it?

 Alright, alright, lets get on with it then!