The Beginning

The original post that started it all…where it all began.

I wish I had some words of inspiration for this crisp new white paper (or web page) which is the beginnings of my blog, a personal affirmation at least. A new dawn, a new day, a new blog? Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.  But there is no doubt that the new year brings with it a sense of new purpose and possibilities.

I state my purpose for creating this blog straight up. I’m a fatty. It’s easy to say but harder to write. I am very overweight and desperately unhappy about it. I have tried to perceive my weight as being just part of who I am – a happy, bubbly person, confident in themselves. But that’s all crap too really….

So, with no new resolutions to set me up for inevitable failure, instead I decide 2010 is the year for all things new. I’ve been scared for far too long- so I start here, my first “jump in”.  Here I hope to find a new sense of accountability for doing something that I have been unable to do for quite some time- lose weight. However, I need to stick to my no resolution rule. For this reason, I will not say I need to lose 25kg this year (although in fact I do) but I reframe the task to include my “new life”.

I got to thinking – how would weight loss bring new things into my life? Well, for starters it would not include the following:

• Cheese, cheese and more cheese
• Always going to the back of the rack when buying clothes
• Secretly hoping for the closest car park and cursing the toolman when he parks as far away as possible- I hope to one day soon cry with joy at the opportunity to stretch my fat legs
• Granny knickers
• Watching a purchased exercise video while sitting on the couch eating jelly
• Hiding from the camera when previously it was my great life work to get my head in at least the bottom corner
• Granny knickers…did I mention that one already? All I ask for is something with just the slightest hint of lace or femininity
• Almost crying while I watch loved ones eat heavy sourdough bread
• Mentally doing all sorts of nasty things to those eating the bread
• Despising those who so obviously don’t have a weight problem exclaiming, “oh, I can’t have that (usually miniscule) piece of something (usually cheese)”
• And for me the most humiliating – quickly claiming that I am purchasing for my svelte sister when shop assistants look at me in shock horror as I approach the change rooms with a too-tight something to try on.

Yes, I could go into all sorts of physiological reasons why I need a lifestyle change. Diabetes, heart disease, cholesterol…but I’m only 25 and these things are rarely at the forefront of a young woman’s mind. I just want to feel better and not live such a toxic life, consumed with negative thoughts about myself and others.

It should be said that last year I did successfully start the journey (I swear that’s the last time I’ll say “journey”…cringe), losing 10 and a half kilos over six months. However, it should also be noted that at times it was a half-assed effort accompanied with a good dollop of rage (think sour dough). Also think toolman hubby on the couch with a packet of cheesy corn chips.

So I ask all those granny knicker wearing friends of mine, come with me. Join the year of all things new as we combat mid-night snacking, cheesy platters and it has to be said, hauling our collective derriere up hill.

P.s. G-srings, boxers, briefs, and nudies also welcome.